An earthquake hit the East Coast today, and Republicans immediately blamed President Obama.
"It's Obamaquake!" declared Boehner.
John McCain was quick to point out that had Obama brought to bear the full strength of our military, the quake could have been avoided.
Jon Kyl blamed the quake on liberals, the unemployed, undocumented immigrants, and everyone under the age of 25.
David Schweikert could not be found.
In Arizona, Jan Brewer railed against the federal government for allowing an earthquake to rattle Virginia and nearby states, saying "This is yet another example of that oppressive federal government interfering with states' rights."
Russell Pearce is said to be drafting legislation that will allow Arizona to deny that earthquakes exist.
(The preceding is fiction, but the resemblance to real life is unavoidable.)
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